Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
