pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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