my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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