just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
