you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
