after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
