I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
