He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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