last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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