the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
