Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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