can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
