I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
