so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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