wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize