you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
