no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
