Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
