No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
