I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
