I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize