woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
