champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
