So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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