we made out on top of his cat.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
