Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my shit smells like andre
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
