Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Found your dick twin last night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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