So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
