I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm too high and old for this...
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