so explain again why im purple
no
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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