bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize