Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
