If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize