just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
