Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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