at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
