porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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