Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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