they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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