I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
