i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
