Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
