Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize