Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
