I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
