AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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