At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
