Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
