well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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