Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
