..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
