He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
