Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
