I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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