remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
