I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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