i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
