heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
