don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
