Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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