Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am spending my child support on dildos
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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